A friend brought up to me a time that they felt they embarrassed themselves in front of me. When they told me, I genuinely couldn’t remember what they were talking about.
Yet, I remember times I’ve thought I embarrassed myself in front of them.
My point is that no one else thinks about the “embarrassing” things you do as much as you and it’s likely that they’re more focused on their own “embarrassing” things. Try not to stress about it so much.
Femme Fatale Guide: Tips To Become More Emotionally Intelligent
Embrace self-awareness & self-reflection: Observe how you feel, behave, and how people generally respond to your words/actions in different situations
Practice self-regulation: Learn to differentiate between your feelings and the actions that would be appropriate in a specific setting or interaction. Internalize that feelings are fleeting and non-factual. You’re in control of how you respond/(don’t) act on these emotions
Engage in active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying with the intent of understanding, not responding
Focus on emotional differentiation: Understand where your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and opinions end and another person’s identity/perception begins
Display radical empathy and acceptance: Understand that almost all people’s words and actions result from their own beliefs, past experiences, and current life circumstances/priorities. Put yourself in their shoes when attempting to understand their choices, behaviors, and times they come to you to discuss a problem, success, or major life decision. Accept that you can only control what you do. Very little of other people’s actions/the world’s workings are personal. Things are happening around you, not to you
Let go of your ego: View yourself as objectively as possible with the potential for improvement. Abolish any superior complex or overwhelming desire to prove your self-importance in others’ lives and decisions
Remain open-minded: Question your own beliefs and opinions. Stay curious as to why you believe them to be true/authentic to you. Allow your opinions to change or have the capacity to modify your beliefs upon hearing new information. Understand your worldview and values are valid, but they’re not definitively correct beliefs, just because they resonate/feel comfortable for you
Be receptive to feedback: Embrace constructive criticism as a self-improvement tool. Approach it with curiosity and optimism, not as a personal attack
Differentiate between your feelings and capabilities: Your thoughts are not facts. Remember you can do things you don’t feel like doing most of the time (work, waking up in the morning, working out, etc.). Learn the difference between being a slave to your emotions and genuinely running out of energy
I wish people would normalize being lost in life and just not knowing anything. not knowing what you’re passionate about, where you want to live, what you want to do, where you want to go— or what lies next. as a society, we normalized going to school, finding a passion, getting a job, finding a partner, getting married, having kids, working hard to earn an honest living. but what about when shit just doesn’t go that way? you really just don’t know. and what’s even worse is, you don’t know why you don’t know or even where to start so you feel alone. you feel as though you’re a disappointment to your family. as if you failed in life. but you haven’t, it’s okay, to not know. to be lost. you have your whole life ahead of you to figure things out. patience is a virtue. there is no time limit on life. you don’t need to rush. don’t allow society to fixate the narrative of having all your shit together at a certain age. it isn’t realistic for most. being lost is so much more normal than we think. and i just wish people would be more transparent about it.
i just want to be a better woman. upgrade my vocabulary, my lifestyle, how i handle people + situations. i am focused on positivity and growth. i don’t want any distractions or negativity around me while i am on this evolving journey.
Listen to me: You get good at things by being bad at them. You learn by failing. You gain competency and a sense of mastery by failing at something many times and in many interesting ways.
The sooner you are able to laugh at your own failures, to enjoy the process of messing up, the easier life will be. Because you’ll no longer be afraid of learning.
And once you’re no longer afraid of failing, you can learn anything.
i wish it were as easy as it sounds
And that’s the thing of it, isn’t it? Failing and accepting a failure is itself a skill.
And it can be very hard to learn, especially if you come from a family where a failure is a sign that you are a failure instead of a sign that you are learning.
You’re going to fail at failing well. There are going to be times when it hurts, times when your brain is telling you that you should just give up and you’ll never get it. Times when a failure is going to frustrate you to no end.
And you can still learn to fail well. You can learn to see it as a sign that you’re learning, you can learn to give a little chuckle and say to yourself, well, everyone screws up sometimes, I’m just learning.
